Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?

Partly cloudy skies during the morning hours will become overcast in the afternoon. High 92F. Winds WSW at 10 to 15 mph.. Updated: August 27, am. After two years of arranged coffees in hotel lobbies and restaurants, Barbara Weiss finally found her match. By their second date, she and her intended knew they were right for each other and were engaged within three weeks. Eight years and three children later, Weiss is a believer in the age-old Jewish tradition of matchmaking. About 50 Orthodox Jewish matchmakers gathered in Jerusalem recently to discuss that point. The group also compared notes on their trade and worked to come up with ways to deal with the shortage of matchmakers for Israel’s fast-growing religious community. Practitioners range from those that just keep notes jotted on envelopes and dabble in the occasional match to others who rely on extensive interviews and medical tests.

Orthodox Jews use gene science to protect family and tradition

Saw You at Sinai is a Web site that uses a unique form of matchmaking to help Jewish singles meet potential mates. Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld of the National Synagogue is joined by Refael Hileman, a matchmaker with the Web site, to discuss the concept and how it supports common cultural traditions of marrying within one’s faith. Just ahead, another of our most fascinating people of the year, C.

Tova Weinberg, one of the country’s top Jewish matchmakers, has Ms. Weinberg is unusual for working with all branches of Judaism, and for.

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Make Me A Match (English Subtitled)

In one hand she holds a filing card with a photograph stapled to it. In the other is her phone. She peers at the card and tells the rabbi on the end of the line: “Her parents are separated, not divorced. Sirota flips the card over and reads out a couple of names and phone numbers: references provided by the young woman for community elders who will attest to her character.

All being well, a meeting between the pair will be arranged and then, Sirota hopes, an engagement. Sirota, 67, is a shadchan, a traditional Jewish matchmaker.

matchmaking which will enable marital therapists to understand the boundaries in which to operate The Shadchan has a long tradition in Jewish life. Because​.

One of longest traditions of matchmaking is in Jewish communities in Eastern Europe and Russia, with the height of this tradition occurring in the Middle Ages. There, a professional matchmaker, known as a shadkhan plural shadkanim , had an extremely important profession because of the relative isolation of the small communities and the fact that courtship was actually frowned upon. Search this site. The Young Woman. The Parents. Matchmaker Number One. Matchmaker Number Two. The Prince.

Matchmakers: A History. Love, Comfort, Happiness. Re-Telling A Tale. The Story.

Inside The World Of Jewish Matchmaking

We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to bat in the bottom of the last inning, two outs and runners in scoring position; we sit in classrooms with our palm sweating, waiting to take an exam; we argue in courtrooms and make investment decisions; we move our families from one community to another… the list goes on and on. There is so much we have to do, and so much we have to get right. Imagine then the incredible pressure Eliezer felt when he was sent out by Abraham to find a wife for his beloved son, Isaac!

What decision can we make that is more fateful than the choice of a lifetime mate? From that decision unfurls years of happiness, successful child-rearing, the blessing of a home filled with learning, respect and holiness.

Jewish marriages, just like Christian ones, have been arranged for centuries. The first Jewish marriage arranged by a matchmaker was a union between Isaac​.

Religious faith has long held a strong link to matchmaking and arranged marriage. In Jewish tradition, God was the original matchmaker, creating Eve out of Adam’s rib so that the two could share company and procreate [source: Kadden and Kadden ]. Therefore, matchmakers held a prominent position in Jewish history. Fathers customarily bore the responsibility of selecting adequate grooms for their daughters and might request assistance from a local matchmaker, or shadchan , to seek out an eligible bachelor.

Matchmakers may then team up with rabbis to pair young men and women in the community, something that still takes place in orthodox communities. The Torah dictates payment to a shadchan , but that doesn’t always happen; some Jewish matchmakers will refuse to accept any remuneration, considering it their divine calling they pursue as a form of charity [source: Sherwood ]. Similar to secular professional matchmakers, Jewish shadchans might inquire around to find out about a young man’s character, personality, religious observance, family and professional prospects before proceeding with the fix-up.

Jewish matchmaking focuses more on shared family background and kindred morals than romantic attraction, and, likewise, the relationship-building is reserved for the post-nuptial years. For that reason, once the preordained couple meets, they aren’t expected to carry out an extended courtship, and the young man may pop the question after only a couple months, if not sooner.

In Southeast Asia, arranged marriage remains a common custom , and the family often functions as matchmaker. With marriage a cornerstone establishment of the Hindu faith, the matchmaking tradition has existed in India, for instance, since the fourth century, and even in the 21st century, about 90 percent of Indian marriages are set up [source: Toledo ].

Our God, Our Matchmaker

Commentary on Parashat Ki Teitzei , Deuteronomy – It takes courage to get married. Divorce statistics attest to the high risk of failure. Yet ours is not the first generation to appreciate the demanding complexity of matrimony.

In Judaism marriage is a holy union in which God takes special delight. No, Jewish tradition is clear that marriage is a holy union, one that God takes special​.

So important, so weighty, so meaningful is the decision that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us manage to cross that threshold! We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to bat in the bottom of the last inning, two outs and runners in scoring position; we sit in classrooms with our palm sweating, waiting to take an exam; we argue in courtrooms and make investment decisions; we move our families from one community to another… the list goes on and on.

There is so much we have to do, and so much we have to get right. Imagine then the incredible pressure Eliezer felt when he was sent out by Abraham to find a wife for his beloved son, Isaac! What decision can we make that is more fateful than the choice of a lifetime mate? From that decision unfurls years of happiness, successful child-rearing, the blessing of a home filled with learning, respect and holiness. Finding the right mate can be fraught with uncertainty; a decision of remarkable moment.

So important, so weighty, so meaningful the decision that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us manage to cross that threshold! Our tradition is clear when it comes to marriage. For us, a marriage is not simply the wedding of families and assets, a brokering of business and power. No, Jewish tradition is clear that marriage is a holy union, one that God takes special delight in. We hold that, in fact, each one of us has a true soul mate with whom we are to share our lives, a soul mate that God has chosen for us.

The New Republic

If the impromptu couple ended up getting married, Steinhardt said, he would pay for their honeymoon. But Beroff and the woman had the conversation, and split the money. Beroff regrets it now. The woman involved did not respond to a Jewish Telegraphic Agency inquiry.

Many religious traditions believe marriage is a gift from God and family life a Raising a family is a sacred duty to Jewish people, a way to express loyalty to Judaism. The introductions are arranged by a professional matchmaker, called a.

Their connection felt genuine and she was eager to cut out the middleman. Her future husband was less certain and suggested they wait. For instance, a shadchen acting as an intermediary at the beginning of a relationship served Lily in her early 20s, but was less effective as she matured. Lily attributes this disconnect to the reality that shidduch dating was originally intended for people in their late teens and early 20s. He says that, thanks to his work, 58 couples have gotten engaged.

He generally sets up young, secular Jews, because he feels that non-Orthodox Jews have limited dating resources. He also writes a monthly advice column in The CJN. Finding your soulmate is reuniting those two lost halves, whose destinies have been entwined from the start. For Anna Sherman, a marriage and family therapist who for 17 years has made matches in her spare time, the motivation to set people up stems from a distinct sense of empathy for the emotional distress shidduch dating can cause.

Three couples she introduced have gotten married. She often matches people who are baal teshuvah, or have become more observant, as she knows from experience that they are often stigmatized in the religious dating world.

219Mag: Matchmaker, Matchmaker